Selena Gomez, like many of us, decided to start cooking elaborate recipes during the 2020 COVID lockdown. Unlike the rest of us, she turned that newfound hobby into a television show. Through her show I discovered this recipe and made it for the first time that year.
I quickly realized that there were some differences in Selena and I’s lives that made aspects of this recipe frustrating. Mainly that when I cook an elaborate meal, I also have to wash the dishes afterwards. For this reason, I have streamlined this recipe, so you are getting the best ratio of flavor to effort. The marinade on the meat is so flavorful that making another elaborate sauce is not worth the effort in my eyes. I would sooner die than clean my blender TWICE for a single recipe.
Cook time:
20 minutes of prep, 1 hour of marinading, 20-30 minutes of cooking
Ingredients:
2 lbs of Short Rib
6 Eggs
1 bag of frozen Tater Tots
1 bag of large Flour Tortillas
1/2 of an Onion, sliced
6 Green Onions, sliced
6 cloves of Garlic, minced
1 Kiwi, peeled (obviously)
1 cup of Soy Sauce
1/2 cup of Mirin
1/2 cup of Sesame Oil
1/4 cup of Sugar
2 1/4 cups of Canola Oil
2 tablespoons of Sesame Seeds
2 tablespoons of Butter
2 tablespoons of Milk
1 tablespoon of Gochujang
Directions:
Cut your short rib into thin strips about an inch long. Set aside in a large bowl.
Put the soy sauce, onion, 4 green onions, garlic, kiwi, mirin, sesame oil, sugar, sesame seeds, gochujang, and 1/4th cup of canola oil in a blender. Blend until completely liquified.
Pour your blended mixture over the meat and mix well. I usually let it marinate for a few hours but you can cook it after 20 minutes or so if you are feeling impatient.
Remove your meat from the marinade and cook on medium-high heat in a Dutch oven or a large pan with a lid. Cook until dark brown or slightly charred but not burnt.
Remove your meat from the oven and set aside. Pour two cups of Canola oil into your Dutch oven and fry your tater tots on high heat until golden brown.
Crack your eggs in a bowl and whisk in your milk and your two additional green onions. Scramble the eggs over medium-low heat.
(Optional) Heat your tortilla over low heat so it is more pliable. I do not have the Chipotle training that Erica has so this is the only way I can roll burritos well.
Add your meat, tots, and eggs to your tortilla and roll into a burrito.
Erica’s Review:
“This shit is so good. The first time Jake made this during quarantine, I was obsessed. It’s still one of our favorites and over time Jake has tweaked things here and there and somehow made it even better. It even lets me use the skills I learned working at Chipotle to roll the burritos. 11/10 recipe right here!!”
Recipe I ripped off:
(If you use this, please be aware that the ingredient list at the top is not comprehensive for some insane reason)